I have been trying to lose weight since I was 9 years old.

I wasn’t an obese child, but I wasn’t as thin as some of the other girls around me and so, whenever anyone wanted to be mean to me, my weight became the weapon of choice.

My sensitivity for my size didn’t come from my personal opinion about myself, but from the opinion and influence of external factors.

As many girls did, I grew up with a Mom who dieted and tried fad-diets in ongoing attempts to lose weight. Therefore, I became aware of the desire to be thinner at a very young age.

I think I did my first Slim-Fast diet when I was 12 years old which was the same time I joined an organization called “TOPS” (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) with my Mom.

I am not one of these people who has tried every fad diet and done crazy things in an attempt to lose weight. I know what’s good and what’s not. It’s not rocket science. Fruits, Veggies, whole grains, low fat meat, water, healthy fats=good.
Pop, sugar, chocolate, white bread, pizza, chips, cookies, etc=bad.

I did Atkins for almost a year once. I know, a diet shrouded in controversy, which I will address at some point. But, other than that, my battle has always been about just trying to find balance in eating healthy and exercising.

I’ve always been fairly active which is probably why my blood sugar, cholesterol, etc. have remained in healthy zones.

But, my weight has not.

When I was pregnant my weight sky-rocketed to 315 lbs. I couldn’t believe I had crossed over to the 300’s. I hated pregnancy. It was a miserable time for me. I was nauseated the entire 9 months and suffered atrocious pelvic girdle pain which basically felt like someone was slowly prying my pelvis apart. I honestly felt like every bone in my body was breaking. And so, despite on and off attempts to eat healthy, I basically ate what I felt I needed to eat to stay sane and survive. I was going through hell. I damn well was going to, at the very least, enjoy what I ate.

I was 295 lbs post-pregnancy. (This is after the pregnancy weight was lost—about 4 weeks after he was born). The first 4 months of his life were a nightmare . I was suffering from birth trauma as a result of an extreme emergency c-section, was alone with a newborn most of the time (we didn’t have family or friends around to support us), and it would turn-out I was also suffering from Hypothyroidism and Anemia. And so, I ate what I needed to eat to keep myself happy.

Aha. There it is.

I ate what I needed to eat to keep myself happy.

I am an emotional eater. Last night I downed an entire bag of BBQ Rice Crisps while my husband was playing Star Wars Battlefront. I laughed and said “I always stress- eat when you play.”

Recently when I wrote a post about discipline I had an idea to expand my blog and add a “Seeking Health” section where I could write candidly about my journey and struggles. I have a few friends who have been bravely posting on social media about their attempts to lose weight, etc. and I’ve always felt too embarrassed and too ashamed to be that honest about myself.

However, it’s been proven that sharing the information with people helps you gain success, so here it goes:

Current weight: 275 lbs
Height: 5”3 (I don’t expect this will change too much)
Goal Weight: 185 lbs
LBS to Lose: 90 lbs
Exercise Goal: 3x/week (for now)

Nutritional Goals (These will change depending on my progress, etc.):
1800 Calories/Day
1 Serving Vegetables 1xDay
1 Serving Fruit 1xDay
1 Serving Protein 1xDay
72 ounces Water/Daily
No Pop
1 Serving Chocolate/Day (at the most)

How I’m doing so far today:

1 Serving Vegetables 1xDay – YES (2-3, actually)
1 Serving Fruit 1xDay – YES
1 Serving Protein 1xDay –YES (2)
72 ounces Water/Daily – 48 so far
No Pop – NO
1 Serving Chocolate/Day (at the most) – So far, no chocolate J

Phew…it’s out there now.

Time to take a deep breath and get ‘er done.

*In the future, my health-related posts will be kept in the “Seeking Health” section of my blog that can be found under the “Seeking Life Now” title at the top of the page.