My husband is out for the evening and, the truth is, I love these nights.
We can be somewhat codependent at times. We enjoy being around one another, feel comfortable together, and are both home-bodies, so we tend to do everything together. Neither of us go out with the girls/guys or are overly social.
Therefore, these nights when he is out and the little one is in bed are special to me. However, my geek attachment to Star Wars Battlefront threatened to completely derail the evening. And, while I played one more game than I would have liked, I did find the determination to, shut it off.
One more battle won. Take that, Darth.
But, the dark side was calling me and it was strong. I had turned-off Battlefront, but I flicked over to Netflix and found a documentary on a ballet competition to start watching. Ugh. ‘Didn’t you want to turn it off, listen to music and write?’ My conscious can be much more well-behaved than me at times.
There were several years in my life when I didn’t watch tv. And, I don’t mean that I only watched a few shows/night, or everything online/downloaded. I literally mean that I never looked at a screen of any kind.
I have been thinking about those days recently.
Every evening was like tonight. The mood was chill, my mind was free to breathe and explore itself, my stress was low and I felt truly alive. Just like I feel now.
Diana Krall is weaving her rhythms around my peppermint tea and I am doing something I love- writing.
There are many things that can get lost when you move-in with someone and even more that disappear when you have children. It can be difficult to negotiate how to provide the room everyone requires to have his/her needs met, while leaving room to grow.
For me, the matter of “space” has always been an issue in our marriage. I am an introvert. I love being alone. In fact, I need to be alone in order to really be myself, to recharge, to get in-touch with my thoughts and to regulate my stress levels.
Life is busy. It’s loud, constantly moving, satiated with entertainment and it is exhausting.
Take time to unplug. Turn-off the visual entertainment, and audible if you need to, and just let yourself be. Explore your mind and give your emotions a break from processing other people’s stories and a chance to experience your own.
This is life.