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~ When life doesn't turn out as you had hoped it would – It may not be 100% factual, but it is 100% me.

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Monthly Archives: February 2016

Imagination Station

19 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by Heather Irwin in Uncategorized

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Childhood, Dreams, hope, Imagination, life

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I had an extremely vivid imagination as a child. I spent most of my days lost in a reverie of day dreams that would have made excellent fodder for a Disney epic.

In fact, I think I lived most of my childhood in a belief that I was in a Disney epic.

I was ‘Cinderella’ making friends with the mice and birds while dreaming about the day they would put-together a gorgeous, flowing gown for me to wear to meet the man of my dreams.

I was ‘Wart’ going-out to the farmyard to find the sword in the stone, knowing that if I got my hands on it, it would release from the stone, the heavens would open, angels would sing, and I would be made Queen.

I was Belle singing barefoot in the fields of hay during a gorgeous sunset about wanting to leave my small town, discover a terrifying beast, fall in love, have him transform into a drop-dead hunk, and live happily ever after together in his killer castle.

These characters, these stories, were my friends-my confidantes. No matter what was going on around me, I could always retreat in my head to one of these stories.

Actually…not much has changed in this area over the years.

When I’m having a rough day, I still look-out the window and see a dark, run-down castle, staffed by talking candlesticks, clocks and tea pots who are ready to rally to my side and give me a pep-talk, while singing wildly to me about being their guest.

But, there is little space for these dreams and vivid imaginings to exist in my current life.
I do not have the type of job that allows for, let alone would value, imagination and day dreams. I have a run-of-the-mill, typical, desk/administration job.

This is my space to let my imagination breathe.

It’s been boxed-up for far too long and has been screaming to be allowed out to play for years. Well, it’s out now. Time to stretch its legs, let it loose and see what it can do.

I have no format, layout or guidelines for what’s going to happen here.

My only plan is – to write.

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Starting over…over and over again.

18 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by Heather Irwin in All Posts, Seeking Life Now

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Dreams, Expectations, Hopes, life, Reality, Starting over

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I have always loved to write.

When I was young I would write long, elaborate, humorous stories and my friends would gather around during recess and ask me to read them out loud. I lived for English class, enjoyed writing essays and loathed the dreaded “100 words or less” type of assignments.

I dreamed about being many things when I was young: teacher, musician, missionary, voice of a Disney character, fashion designer, photographer, lawyer, therapist, personal driver, forest ranger, big rig driver…but, the one dream that never changed or went away was the idea that I would write.

I have started and stopped blogs, oh, about a million times it seems.

The thing that often stops me is this idea that everything and anything can already be found on the internet.

The internet doesn’t need another voice clogging-up its waves (or whatever it is that keeps things ticking-along behind the scenes).

I felt powerless. Voiceless.

There was nothing I had to say that would add any value or relevance to the magnitude of words already out there.

And then, just suddenly, while sitting at work one day (years after my last attempt at a blog post) it all made sense…

The world may not need any more thoughts expressed in words. But, I needed to write.

I feel lost, less myself, when I am not writing. And, as often happens with these massive life lessons, my Mother told me this long before I realized it for myself.

So, thanks, Mom. I got there eventually.

This time I hope to stick with it because, actually, I feel like I have a lot to say now.

And, who knows, if you come along for the journey, we might discover together that I did have something to contribute after all.

So, welcome back Me.

It’s been far too long (again).

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