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I have this horrible tendency of jumping into things head first. Years ago I decided I would start running. I woke-up one day, headed outdoors and proceeded to run 5k without warming up, stretching, cooling down, etc. and I did this for several months.

My hips and knee are still paying the price for this horrible attempt at becoming healthy.

I still haven’t learned my lesson.

I get too extreme, too quickly and then I crash. My calorie intake was way too low and I had increased my physical activity by too much in a very short period of time. On top of this, it’s been an exceptionally stressful few months.

And, for the past five, or so, days, I have found myself going into that ultimate “survivor” mentality that has me reaching for all things CARB and SUGAR.

I think I’ve touched on this before, but this is a built-in “fight or flight” response in human nature.

See this article for further info on this: http://paleoleap.com/sugar-stress-brain/

I am, desperately, trying to bring my body and mind back on track today. I realize that the “feel good” effects are short-term and that, with every bite of chocolate I take, I’m making it harder for myself to stop and get back to feeling better again.

So far, I’ve failed quite a bit, but have made some good choices and am starting to feel my focus returning, the desire to reach for the chocolate diminishing, and a more level-headed approach to what I’m putting in my mouth.

True, I did have a Mars bar and a mocha for breakfast…and 6 pieces of Cadbury milk chocolate followed by 6 pieces of Cadbury fruit and nut bar for a snack…BUT, I’ve also chosen a banana once (over more chocolate) and now some lettuce, carrots, grapes and a turkey bite over chips, pop and MORE chocolate.

PLUS, my water intake is already triple what it has been the past 2 days. So, it’s not all bad.

I have noticed that, with the deterioration in eating habits, there has been an obvious increase in body pain. So, if I ever question whether, or not, eating healthy makes my fibromyalgia, arthritis and hypothyroid pains decrease, please give my head a shake. It, very clearly, makes a difference.

For the past 2 days I have hurt EVERYWHERE. I even have pain behind my knees. If you were to draw a map of pain on my body right now, the only place that would not be marked would be my nose…and even it has been running more than it should.

Also, part of my stress-lifestyle is that the things that I love, the healthy things that allow my mind to have a bit of a break and decompress, are the first to go (like writing).

That is why part of my 30 day challenge was to write every day. Now, I have been writing (most days) in a journal. But, it’s always been an end of the day, head about to hit the pillow when I spot my journal out of the corner of my eye, quick blurb (about how exhausted and stressed I am).

I need to be more protective of me. I need to be selfish enough to take my time. Whenever I can.

And so, once again, I’m here. Writing. Taking some me time and assessing my journey.

I’ve just been through, yet another, rough patch. But, I’m determined to learn from it, apply some new tools and techniques and be strengthened as I continue on this journey to live the best me that I can.