There is a well-known adage that says, “hindsight is 20/20.” It means that it is often easier to see things clearly after the fact, than it is when you are in the situation or trying to make a decision.

I experience this phenomenon regularly.

For example, our basement flooded and we received insurance money to pay for the repairs. We had the choice of hiring a company to complete it or trying to do it ourselves. We chose to do it ourselves…10 months later and we are still working on it. If we had just paid someone to do it, we’d be down there enjoying the space right now. Instead, we have way too much stuff upstairs and can barely move. We desperately need the basement space back. If we had known back then what an ordeal it would have been, we may have chosen different.

I go through this a lot with raising my children. If I had known, way back at the start of things, how some of my decisions would affect my kids in the future, I would have done things a bit differently (or, at least, considered and/or tried to!). For example, if I had allowed life to be more difficult and unpleasant for my eldest, perhaps he wouldn’t struggle so much to cope with the realities of life today.

I can look-back on so many situations in my life where I was totally oblivious to what was going on but can see it clearly now. There are boys who were flirting with me, and I never knew it until recently when I think back on the interactions. There were times when I was taken advantage of, and I can see it clearly now.

Horrible restaurant experiences, getting stuck in the rain, being unprepared, having to rush to not be late…there are countless examples in my life.

One thing of which I do not have much, however, is regret. I don’t regret much about my life, even with its history of abuse, neglect, heartbreak, pain, and sorrow. Regret is an altogether different experience than realizing after (or into) an experience that, perhaps, you should have done things differently.

Regret has to do with feeling badly enough about something that you would change it if you could.

To be honest, there is only one experience in my entire life that I regret and would change if I could; I would save my mom. I regret that I didn’t catch her illness sooner to do more about it, perhaps even stop it from progressing and save her. The illness would have got her eventually, but I might have been able to slow it down and buy us all more time together.

I wish that I had known how sick she was and that it was going to be the end, I would have stayed longer with her, laughed more, hugged her more, and just spent more time enjoying her presence. I regret not doing these things; hindsight is, indeed, 20/20.

While I have always been a “deep” person and try my best to be present in every moment, these experiences have coupled up with my age and, perhaps, a few strands of wisdom to match the growing expanse of silvery highlights, has made me even more acutely aware of the importance of trying to see the hindsight first – before it happens.

‘But that doesn’t make sense,’ I hear you groan at your screen. Before you think that I’m just being stupid and decide to navigate away from this page, stop and think about this. If you could gain even a smidgeon of hindsight before the fact, don’t you think that could change how you approach and experience life?

‘Sure. But wishing it were so and making it so are two very different things.’

Are they?

Perhaps wishing it were so in and of itself makes us more keenly aware of the important aspects we need to consider before making a decision and/or experiencing something.

So, the next time you are in a situation whether you have a decision to make or are spending time with someone else, stop and think about hindsight; are there any thoughts, feelings, ideas, concerns, hopes, or fears that you have about things? Try to picture yourself in different ‘hindsight scenarios’ and maybe, just maybe, we’ll have less disappointment in experiences, and maybe even less regret.

It’s an experiment worth trying to help us live life to its fullest.