Today is my Mom’s birthday. The first birthday without her.

Throughout the years there have been many fun birthday memories made…

Like the time I had to borrow money from someone I had just met to send her a birthday card via Purolator, because she had always wanted to receive mail from a delivery service like that.

Then there was her 40th birthday. I made such a big deal about her being “over the hill.” I made her an apron that made an age joke, and we filled a laundry basket full of “old age” gifts. Now, here I am at 45 years old, and I can’t believe that I thought 40 was “over the hill!” I feel like I’m just getting started in many ways.

One year I held an “every birthday celebration you missed” birthday. Mom was always great at celebrating. She made every occasion one full of wonder, joy, magic, sacrifice, and love. But, she didn’t have the same experiences growing up, so I planned a party for her that included balloons, a “pin the tail” game, treat bags, a fun bday cake, and a few pass the parcel type games.

As I’ve been reflecting on my Mom, on this her birth day, I have been reminded of the so many ways she filled this world with love and joy, and I have a new depth of appreciation for the fact that I got to be her daughter.

Not everyone has a woman who gave so much of herself to let the ones she loved know how special they were to her. I will miss this. Yet…I take comfort in the words of those who knew her and know me best, who have said that she still shines through me. Her joy and love is still here, an integral part, in our celebrations because I carry her gift for celebrating. She has instilled in me a gratitude for life and for loved ones; this outlook informs what I do, decisions I make, how I treat others, and so much more, every single day. I am proud of this legacy of love.

I made a little video to celebrate these things.

Happy Birthday, Mom.

Thank you for being such an incredible source of life, joy, and love.

I’ll love you forever.

xxxooo